I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize