do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is this the sara with the beer cane?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
