I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she told me i tasted like america
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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