I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
