Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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