It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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