When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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