Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
