nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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