I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
