If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
