So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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