well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I FOUND THE LEGS
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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