You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
