This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
