Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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