a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
