Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
