okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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