Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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