I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
