I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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