If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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