I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
