i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
