Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
