I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
