Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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