My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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