Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
