How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nutella sex= disaster
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
