fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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