I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
