So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize