Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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