It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
