i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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