Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
