don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
