There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
