Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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