i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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