I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
