I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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