So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
