you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
