She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize