Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize