I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
