At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
