Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
