i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize