Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize