So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
