Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
