I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
