Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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