These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
