I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
