i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
