A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
