the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
