Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
