I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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