You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
