TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
