You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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