highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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