why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
