So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
