We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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