just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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