dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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