He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
