There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize