Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You ruined the universe
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
