Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
