Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize