I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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