I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
