i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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